Don't Call Me
by Slurpee Monster
Summary: Gir shouldn't be allowed near the communications room... ever.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: I just finished writing this fic just now. This is the fastest I've ever uploaded anything, so be prepared for spelling mistakes and possible plot-holes... only I don't think there should be any plot-holes considering the plot is… well… kind of non-existent. But that's ok. We've got dialogue.

Another attempt at humor… fear my humor! It's terrifying. I actually really hope its not terrifying... that would make me sad.

By the way, I don't own Invader Zim.

**Don't Call Me**

"_Goodbye Lianne…"_

"_Goodbye Greymond… I'll never forget you."_

The credits started rolling, and Gir burst into tears and hugged the television. "What happens!?" he questioned wailing and shrieking. "WHAT HAPPENS!?" He didn't understand that what he saw was the ending.

He suddenly got happy when he thought of something he could do while waiting for his master to get home from skool. With a cheerful squeal he ran into the kitchen and took the toilet elevator down into the communications room.

_**You know… you aren't supposed to be down here… **_the computer spoke.

Gir proceeded to scream and run around the room in fear of the strange voice. The computer sighed. Why did he bother trying?

It took Gir an hour to finally calm down. He sat down in the chair and typed in the only contact number he knew. The black screen fizzled into static as the call was processed. Gir took a Suckmonkey out of his head compartment and began slurping on the straw. Then the Tallests appeared on the screen.

"What do you want now Zim…?" Red questioned moodily.

"Hey," Purple said squinting at the monitor. "That's not Zim."

"Hi!" Gir called hopping to his feet and waving. "What'cha doin!??"

The Tallests stared at Gir. Then they turned and stared at each other.

"Umm… why are you calling us?" Purple questioned the strange SIR unit.

"Everybody Loves Greymond!" Gir suddenly shrieked, and the Tallest's antennae fell back. Smiling, Zim's robot held the suckmonkey over his head. "How does it eeeend?"

"We don't even know what that is…" Red growled. He turned to the technician in charge of the communication systems and motioned for him to cut the transmission.

"Aww…" Gir dipped his head showing his disappointment. The screen faded to black, but Gir wanted to talk more so he called the Tallests back. This time they didn't answer so Gir did what his master sometimes did and forced his way back onto their monitor.

"Hi again!"

Red and Purple groaned and leaned back in their chairs.

"Can you maybe stop calling us?" Purple suggested.

"But Master doesn't like me callin him at skool!" Gir exclaimed.

Red smirked and pulled Purple close. "If we give him another number, he'll leave us alone," he whispered.

"Which number are we going to give him?" Purple questioned squinting an eye.

"It can't be one of the invaders… the stupid robot will distract them from their missions."

Both the Tallests cringed when Gir started singing about a chocolate moose running through a field of taffy.

"We still have the number for that Resisty ship thing," Purple commented.

"Too bad it crashed into Earth. It's probably completely destroyed," Red said.

"The robot is pretty stupid. I don't think he'll notice."

Red's eyes lit up, and he faked a smile as he turned to the SIR unit on the monitor.

"How about Purple and I give you a new number to call?" he suggested.

"Ooo," Gir remarked pressing his face against the screen. "What is it!?"

The monitor faded to black, and then a large white number appeared. Excited to have something new to try, Gir eagerly typed it in and waited.

Lard Nar groaned. He had just managed to fall asleep, which is quite a challenge when you're trying to sleep in a sewer, and now his communicator was going off. He picked it up and pressed the receive button.

"Who are you!?" Gir shrieked, and the Vortian nearly dropped the communication device in a puddle of something he knew couldn't be pleasant.

"Who is this?" Lard Nar questioned. He yawned, placed his goggles on his forehead, and rubbed one of his eyes. "Why are you calling at this hour?"

"I'm Gir! Master's at skool and the tall guys didn't wanna play so I'm calling you now!" the crazy SIR unit responded sticking his tongue out.

It was at this moment that Lard Nar realized that the thing calling him was an Irken SIR unit, and the communicator made a second perilous plunge towards the green-yellow-brown goop below. Thank goodness for ledges… He caught the device before it could be taken by the gross substances swirling through the sewer, and he brought it eye level.

"Ok… I'm going to assume you aren't tracking my location right now, not that you could really…" Lard Nar shook his head. Why did this thing have to call him now? He hadn't slept in three days due to his unwavering paranoia and of course the smell of his current location. He was pretty sure there was a monster down here that ate most of his crew already,

"You at a swimming pool!?" Gir questioned grinning widely.

"Um… Sure."

Gir bounced up and down. "Did you race the beavers!?"

Lard Nar raised an invisible brow. "Who gave you this number?"

"I got it from the candy-canes!" Gir replied. Then changing the subject completely he asked, "Do you know how "Everybody Loves Greymond" ended!?"

Lard Nar had no idea what the SIR unit was talking about. He was already having a hard time dealing with his paranoia as it was… the thought of attacking SIR units coming down into the sewer made him shudder.

Clearing his throat, he decided to make something up for the strange Irken robot. "Everybody dies a horrible fiery death?" he tried.

"Were there explosions too?" Gir asked.

"Yes. Lots."

Gir squealed in delight and fell off his chair.

"I'm going to sleep now…" Lard Nar said preparing to end the call.

"You got to tell the Tall-guys too!" Gir insisted, and he hopped back onto the seat and typed in the Tallests' number.

The leader of the Resisty groaned and spread his arms out at he stared up at the ceiling. "Ten more minutes of this and I'm knocking myself out…"

"Look you crazy robot thing…" Purple began when Gir's face appeared on their monitor again. "You can't keep calling us like this!"

"Yeah, it's rude," Red agreed. "Not to mention incredibly annoying," he muttered to Purple.

"This is Tony's pizza! Tony's pizza! Take an order pleaaase!" Gir burst into a fit of giggles.

Purple smacked himself in the forehead while Red decided the best course of action was to lock himself in a small windowless room without any monitors. He got up from his chair and began gathering a few supplies to wait out Gir's constant calls when they heard another voice.

"Can I hang up yet..?"

The screen's image split in two. On one side was Gir happily eating bucket of cheesesticks and on the other was a picture of a grey ceiling of some kind and the sound of running water.

"Um… creepy robot?" Purple questioned, and Gir gave a shrill "yeeeeees?"

"Who is that?"

"I don't know!"

"No really…"

"I don't know!" Gir started to sing. "I don't know I don't know IIII don't knoooow!"

"Shut up!" Red snapped gripping his antennae. "Just shut up already. Good Irk you're giving me a headache…"

Sleep-deprived Lard Nar finally looked down at his communicator when he heard 'Irk' pronounced. He nearly had a double heart attack when he saw the Tallests on the screen. The SIR unit was dangerous after all! He should have known better.

Being paranoid, but incredibly tired, he pushed the communicator away from him as though it were a poisonous Slorbit then promptly fell asleep. Only once he was asleep did he remember that he forgot to turn the stupid thing off, but it was kind of too late since he was already unconscious.

"I'm going to call Zim and make him turn his stupid SIR off," Red decided shoving the communication's technician out of the way and punching in the numbers himself.

"Not now Gir! Zim is in the middle of…" the shorter Irken froze when he saw that his Tallest Red was on his communicator screen and not Gir. The Tallest had called his own personal communicator! "My Tallest; it is an honor!" Zim exclaimed saluting.

"Yes… yes…" Red said waving him off. "I need you to do something for me Zim."

"Anything my Tallest!"

"Turn that freaken SIR unit off!" Red hollered, and Zim's antennae blew back.

"Huh? What…? Gir!?"

"Hi master!" Gir called from the Tallest's monitor.

Zim chuckled nervously as he looked into the angry stare of his red Tallest. He rubbed the back of his head, and then regaining his composure he barked, "Gir! What do you think you're doing bothering the Tallests!?"

"I wanted a pizza friend but the tacoman says I must eat tacos! I must eat tacos! Can I explode yet?"

"That does not answer my question Gir!" Zim snapped. "That doesn't make any kind of sense at all!"

"Aw…" Gir's expression became sad, and his eyes got wide and watery. "Master is mad at me?"

"I am not just mad Gir. I AM FURIOUS!"

"Yaaaaay!" his SIR cheered.

"No! That's bad Gir!" his eyes narrowed at his idiotic robot. "Now I want you to hang up and stop calling the Tallests!"

"Looks like the boss left this thing on!" a voice from the second half of the screen on the Massive spoke. A pink face appeared, and the Tallests turned their eyes to it.

"Do we know you?" Purple questioned the strange looking alien.

"Nope," Shloonktapooxis replied grinning. He didn't recognize the Tallests at all. "Sorry, but you probably got the wrong number!"

"We didn't call you," Red spoke. "That crazy SIR unit did."

"Oh."

"Hi!" Gir greeted.

"Don't ignore me Gir!" Zim shouted. "I'm really very sorry my Tallests."

"Ha ha!" another voice was heard coming from Zim's communicator, and the screen split in half like the one in the Massive. "I figured out your number Zim!" Dib announced triumphantly.

"Ooo! Big Head!" Gir called. "You should call peppermint sticks too! The number is…"

"Gir! Do not give the Dib-beast the Tallests' number!" Zim demanded waving his fist in the air.

Gir ignored him and blurted out the number anyway.

"You horrible robot!" Zim shouted.

"Thanks!" Dib said, and he ended the call with Zim's communicator and used Tak's ship to call the Massive instead.

"What's all that yelling..?" Lard Nar muttered sitting up. He noticed Shloonktapooxis hovering over his communicator. "What's going on?"

"Irkens sir!" Shloonktapooxis replied. "Three of them, and an unknown alien!"

"I'm really trying not to lose my patience…" Red grumbled. He gathered a few more items into his arms then walked to the door. He turned and regarded Purple. "Let me know when this mess is dealt with."

"Where are you going?" Purple asked; his antennae drooping with the thought that he was going to be left alone with a couple of strange aliens, and Zim, on the screen.

"I'm going to regain my sanity," Red replied before walking into the hallway.

Purple watched the door close before turning his attention back to the screen. Now there was a big headed boy in the bottom corner. He sighed and rubbed his face. Ok… he could deal with this…

"You," he said pointing at the nearest technician. "I want you to change our number so no one can call it ever again…"

"Yes sir," the technician replied.

"So where is exactly is your planet alien?" Dib questioned Tallest Purple.

"I'm a moose!" Gir squealed.

"This is your fault Gir!" Zim hollered. "When I get back to the base I'm going to destroy you!"

"So… is this one big call-party?" Shloonktapooxis asked.

"Can you all please talk one at a time!?" Purple shouted, and everyone became quiet. "Ok. That's better."

The silence started to become awkward after a few moments. Then the noise started all over again.

Sluuuuuuurp! Gir was drinking his suckmonkey.

"What's the Massive's current destination!?" Dib demanded.

"How do you know about the Massive!?" Zim asked loudly, and he pointed a very 'dangerous' looking finger at the boy.

"You showed it to me with your simulator remember? Right before you threw a muffin at my head."

"Oh yeah. Right."

"I just wanted to sleep!" Lard Nar wailed burying his head under his arms. "Is this some kind of horrible Irken plot to kill me with sleep deprivation…?"

"Wait, who is that?" Dib asked.

"I don't know," Purple responded which got Gir singing the "I don't know" song again.

"Gir! Silence! I command you!" Zim shouted.

Lard Nar was seriously considering jumping off the ledge into the swirling goop below. If he was lucky the fall would knock him out and he'd wash up eventually outside the sewer system. He'd been lost in this stupid place for almost a week anyway, and most of his crew had already vanished.

"Shloonktapooxis… give me that communicator…" Lard Nar said extending his hand. The floating cone alien blinked at his captain then looked down at the device.

"Sorry sir, no hands."

The captain sighed and reached as far as he could. He managed to snatch the communicator without moving more than his arm. Pulling his goggles down over his eyes, Lard Nar looked at Gir and very blatantly ignored the Tallest.

"Crazy robot thing… what in Vort's name possessed you to call me..?" his voice was low, and Shloonktapooxis wisely moved away. His captain hadn't had a very good week.

Gir stopped singing. "The candy-cane told me!" he answered. "I made a stick out'a glue and put it on the ceiling for the butterflies! I eat butterflies!"

"Wait… were you the one piloting that stray Vortian battleship?" Purple questioned.

If Lard Nar hadn't been so sleep deprived he probably would have denied it, but since he was, he just stared blankly into the screen and said, "yeah."

"Oh! Well um… you see… Zim's stupid robot kept calling us, so we gave it your ship's number. I thought it was destroyed."

"It is destroyed…" Lard Nar growled. "I'm not good with changing numbers, so I used the same one for the communicator, but now thanks to you…"

Purple shrank back. He'd never seen a Vortian look so dangerous before.

"I wanted to kill you before, but now, just you wait Tallests… I will get my revenge. I have call-back, and that little robot knows your communication line number."

Lard Nar cut the transmission and curled into a ball. "Don't wake me," he warned Shloonktapooxis.

"Don't worry my Tallests, Zim will make sure that foolish robot stays out of the communication's room!"

"Ok Zim, whatever," Purple said not sounding at all convinced.

The supposed Invader gave his Tallest a final salute before ending the call.

"Master's back!" Gir cheered before turning off the monitor and running to ambush Zim who'd just walked in the door.

This left only Dib and Purple on the communication line.

"Tell me alien, how many ships are in your armada?"

Purple sighed and rubbed his forehead. "You know I can't tell you anything!"

"Come on, can't you answer one of my questions?"

"No."

"Please."

Purple's antennae twitched. "Don't do that…" he turned to the technician he's seen Red speak to. "Cut the transmission."

"Yes sir," the Irken replied, and Dib's image faded from the screen. "I've finished programming a new number for our communication line my Tallest."

"That's good…" Purple said rubbing an eye. Talking to that many people at once was pretty tiring. "Alright. Now I need one or two of you to come help me find Red. We'll need to check every small dark room on this floor… and on the other twenty nine floors…"

"Um sir, I just thought of something," a different technician quipped up.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Well uh… I was just wondering how the invaders are going to call us to give you their progress reports…"

Purple's expression fell and he paled a little bit. "I'm just going to say we'll worry about that later."

"Yes sir!"

**Author's Notes Extended:** So my latest job just ended for the summer, and I can't seem to find anything else in this silly economy… This week is going to be filled with more job hunting I think. (Or I could spend the entire summer finishing all my hundreds of unfinished Invader Zim fics. Oh dear) Yeah… I kind of really want to work. Need money to buy new pants… -eyetwitch-


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: **This one took me 4 times longer to write and it's twice as confusing. I could make it into a series if I was ambitious enough.

I decided to experiment with line breaks in this chapter. Hopefully it helps.

* * *

**Don't Call me Again**

_The wicked witch is dead! The wicked witch is dead!_

_Ding dong the witch is dead_

_Which old witch?_

_The wicked witch_

_Ding dong the wicked witch is deaaad!_

"Yaaay! The witch is dead!" Gir exclaimed cheerfully bouncing off the couch. He landed upside down on the floor and grinned as the little munchkins on TV started marching around in song. "I wanna be like the twister was!"

Before Gir started spinning around the room Zim came out of the toilet elevator, and lasers immediately covered the entire toilet bowl.

There was a giant lock on the trash can. The picture of the green monkey above the couch had been nailed into place so the screen behind it couldn't be accessed, and Zim had poured concrete into all the hidden tunnels in the floor.

He realized after doing this that he could have just reprogrammed the house to close them off, but it was too late now.

"Gir!" he called as he entered the living room. Of course he found his stupid minion in the middle of doing something extremely stupid. Gir was spinning on his head while trying to drink out of two straws.

The suckmonkey he'd been drinking was splattered on the ceiling, so Gir wasn't actually drinking anything, and he ended up getting one of the straws stuck in his throat.

"Glaaaah! Glaaah Blechhh!" Gir made a variety of choking noises.

"Stop it Gir! You're a robot remember? You can't choke on anything!" Zim irritably cut-in, interrupting his minion's 'fun.'

Gir sat up and stared at Zim with a stupid grin on his face. "I knew that!" he announced.

"Did you really…?" Zim questioned raising an antenna.

The SIR's smile broadened. "No!"

Sighing, Zim reached for the remote on the couch and switched the TV off.

"Ahhh!" Gir cried when he saw his show was 'missing' from the TV. He slammed his face into the blank screen. "Where'd it go!?"

"That's enough Gir!" Zim snapped as his minion continued to cry and wail. "I need you to listen…listen to me!" Zim curled his claws menacingly, but Gir wasn't affected by menacing. He was however deeply scarred by the fact that his show was no longer playing.

"I miss you Wizard!" Gir sobbed. "Why did you leave me!?"

"Listen to me Gir! This is important!" Zim spoke loudly.

The SIR managed to pry himself away from the TV, and he stood at attention in front of his master.

"The Tallests were very angry when you kept calling them… they even refused to give me, ZIM, their new number! I had to hack into the Massive to get that number! All that… hacking… it was horrible! It took me four horrible days!" he paused. "Did I mention it was horrible?"

Gir giggled at this, and Zim shot him a glare.

"That's why I've placed extra security around the base Gir, to keep you from playing with the communication link! If you try to go underground you'll be destroyed by lasers and other death-things! Do you understand?"

"Yes sir!" Gir said in his serious duty-mode voice.

"Good… I'm going to skool now, so listen to ZIM for once you awful minion!"

"But it's Saturday!" Gir remarked sticking his tongue out happily.

"Yes, but the Dib and I have Saturday skool because of my last brilliant plan!" Zim smiled as he remembered the doom he inflicted on the Dib before his experiment exploded. "It sure was brilliant, but now I've got to go attend this inferior human punishment thingy."

He stared meaningfully at Gir and raised a finger. He opened his mouth to speak, but he decided there was no point because Gir probably wouldn't remember.

Zim marched to the front door, and Gir watched him leave. As soon as his master was out of sight, Gir flicked the TV back on and continued watching the "Wizard of Oz."

Then the house started flashing a fun red colour. Gir grinned and stood up off the floor.

_**Incoming transmission **_the computer said.

"I'm gunna answer it!" Gir announced heading for a mouse hole. He quickly made it Gir size and fell down to the communications room landing flat on his face.

_**I still don't think you should be down here… **_the computer told the squished SIR.

Gir popped up and laughed. "But I gotta answer the beeping noise talking squirrel!"

_**No… you don't… and I'm not a talking squirrel.**_

Deciding to ignore the funny voice, Gir hopped onto the chair and pressed the receive button.

* * *

Lard Nar was fully awake, and for good reason. He'd slept for two days straight and spent the next two days held up in a drainage line with Shloonktapooxis fighting off a sewage monster that had crawled up from the depths of the unknown.

Now he was ready to get back at the Tallests for keeping him awake with that annoying SIR unit. He decided to call that morning after a grotesque breakfast of sewer mushrooms on a spit.

It turns out that the quickest way to get over mushroom sickness was to run screaming through the sewer tunnels while being pursued by a ravenous monster. Who knew?

"I remember you!" Gir shrieked. "I remember YOU!"

Luckily there was a grate blocking the pipe-line otherwise Lard Nar might have fallen backwards into the mainline. That's how loud the SIR unit was being, and there was still that scaly green monster to consider…

"Yeah, I remember you too," Lard Nar said in a much quieter voice.

"What you whispering for pickleman?" Gir asked. "Did you find the zombies!? Are they gunna eat your brains!?"

Instead of trying to get the SIR unit to be quieter, Lard Nar simply turned the volume on his communicator down.

"Sir… I think we might have a small problem!" Shloonktapooxis said. He was nearly as loud as Gir, and Lard Nar cringed and held his breath when he heard the sewer creature roar.

"Its gunna eat you!" Gir cheered. His friend pig wandered into the room, and he went to say hi while Lard Nar and Shloonktapooxis fought off the sewer beast that was trying its hardest to devour them.

Then Gir called Dib who was supposed to be at detention, but he wasn't.

* * *

The boy heard Tak's ship beeping from the garage and he pulled himself away from Mysterious Mysteries to answer it.

"Hey, it's you!" Dib exclaimed when he saw Gir and Pig on the screen. "How did you get this number?"

"The dancing squirrels sang me a song!"

Dib made a confused face which quickly became neutral. "I really don't think the squirrels gave you my number."

"Yes they did!" Gir insisted.

"Ok…" Dib smirked. "So are you going to give me the Massive's new number?"

"What number!?"

"The Tallests changed the access codes for the communication line to the Massive," Dib tried to explain, but he could already tell by the robot's blank expression that it didn't understand. "You don't understand a thing I'm saying do you?"

"You wanna talk to Pickle!" Gir suddenly announced.

"What?" Dib raised a brow. "No I don't." He thought about it for a moment and realized that to Gir a pickle could be pretty much anything. "Or do I?"

"Say hi Pickle!" Gir exclaimed as he connected Dib's call to Lard Nar's communicator. There was nothing but static at the moment since Lard Nar and his only remaining crew member were currently trying not to die.

* * *

Tak's ship picked up another transmission, and Dib watched as the screen split in two. On one side was a very miffed looking Zim glaring at him from detention hall. The other half showed nothing but a blur of movement.

"Dib-beast! Why aren't you in detention serving out your wretched human sentence of pain and boredom!?" Zim demanded.

The boy smirked. "Don't tell me you actually went to detention Zim. No one goes there anymore."

Zim made a face. "Eugh!? What!?"

"Take a close look at the teacher," Dib said, and the Irken turned his attention away from his rival and took a careful look at the person sitting at the desk.

"Yes. Zim sees this teacher."

"Do you notice anything strange about him?"

"No not really."

Dib smacked himself in the forehead. "Jeez Zim… can't you tell it's a manikin!?" Dib questioned flabbergasted. "There hasn't been a real teacher in detention for years! Why do you think you're the only kid in that class?"

Zim's eyes widened in realization, and he glared angrily at the Dib. "Curse you Dib-thing! Cuuurse youu!"

Dib shrugged. "It's not my fault you were stupid enough to go."

"Silence! As soon as I get out of this wretched place hyuuman, I will crush you with…" Zim paused as he thought about what he was going to use to crush the Dib. "Something… very large! Yes that's it!" Zim cackled and Dib ended the transmission.

Since Gir had connected Dib's communication link with Lard Nar's, he didn't have anyone to talk to, so he typed in the number his master had written next to the key-pad.

Pig wandered away, and Gir waved goodbye as the transmission was made.

* * *

"Oh no…" Purple spoke turning to his partner.

"Not again…" Red muttered smacking himself in the forehead.

"Hi!" Gir greeted them cheerfully.

"You're not leaving me alone with this crazy SIR unit again!" Purple insisted when he saw Red trying to sneak away. "I mean it Red! Get back here!"

Purple nervously turned to the screen, hoping that what he saw would have disappeared… but no. Gir was still there. "Um uh… we're actually really busy so…"

"Taquitos!" Gir shouted. "I'm gonna feed 'em to the squirrels!"

"Yes that's um… nice?" Purple tried, and his antennae flattened when he heard the door close. Red had escaped again.

Dib played around with the controls on the ship and managed to find the "recall" button. He sent a transmission to Gir, but the SIR unit hit the "wrong" button and connected both calls to the Tallests instead.

Purple ducked behind his chair and muttered to himself as he watched the door to see if maybe Red would come back. He doubted it, but it couldn't hurt to hope a little.

"Oh cool! I called the Massive!" Dib suddenly realized. He didn't see either of the Tallests, but there were more than enough technicians to bother.

"Hey aliens! Does your entire species have the pak device? Do you all become idiots if it's removed? Huh huh?"

"How do you even know that…?" Purple muttered.

"I got a hold of Zim's pak once," Dib replied.

This bit of information interested Purple so he decided, against his better judgment, to leave his hiding spot.

"Really?" he questioned. "I'm guessing the pak attacked you, and you were forced to give it back. Right?"

"Yeah, but I was thinking about maybe trying it again. This time I'll probably use a metal-body shield."

"Metal won't work," Purple spoke up. "You'd need like an energy field or something."

"Sir, may I suggest maybe not telling the strange alien how to steal our paks…?" one of the technicians said keeping his head down and his hands busy at the controls.

Purple smirked. "Zim is the only Irken on that planet, and besides, Tallest paks are a lot different than regular ones." He really had no consideration for other, shorter, Irkens.

* * *

"Wooo! Alright, we beat it!" Shloonktapooxis cheered. The static on that half of the screen cleared revealing Lard Nar and Shloonktapooxis uneaten and somewhat alive.

"Great…" Lard Nar remarked looking ready to collapse. "But you know… I think we've gotten ourselves even more lost…" The few weeks they'd spent in the sewer system was quickly turning into a month.

* * *

Another call came through to the Massive.

"I'm making toast!" Gir shouted, and about a dozen pieces of toast flew into the screen.

"Why won't you go away!?" Purple snapped.

"Because I liiiike youu squishy!" Gir answered.

Purple opened his mouth to say something, but no words came. He stared at the grinning SIR unit until he was finally able to speak. "Words can't express how creeped out I am right now…"

Before Gir could say something even weirder, he suddenly found another number posted on the screen. "Ooo… what's this one do!?" he questioned as he typed it in.

* * *

Somewhere deep inside Vort's prison, a guard paused when he heard the transmission alert. He looked into the cell of one of the most heavily guarded prisoners and saw the screen flashing.

"You get too many calls Seven…" the bulky Irken remarked.

"Tell me about it…" Prisoner 777 said rubbing his forehead. "It's a good thing they haven't noticed most of the calls are from Zim or I could get in big trouble…"

"What?" the guard questioned leering down at him.

Prisoner 777 cringed. Oh right… the guard was still there. "Nothing! This is a private call though, so would you mind?"

As soon as the Vortian was sure the guard had left, he answered the transmission.

* * *

"Hi Pinky!" Gir exclaimed happily before shoving a live chicken into his mouth.

"Aghh gross!" Purple remarked from the other screen in the base. "Why hasn't anyone ended the call yet?"

"That was pretty disturbing," Dib admitted, but his mind didn't stay focused on that for long. "So how many Irkens are there exactly?"

"Where…?" Purple asked weakly as he tried not to hurl.

"I mean in general."

"I don't know. I don't count."

"Too many…" Lard Nar remarked having finally regained his composure enough to join the conversation.

"You're Vortian aren't you?" Dib questioned.

"Yeah."

"Is your planet similar to Irk?"

"Not really…"

Pisoner 777 stared at the SIR unit. He could see in the background that Gir had called someone else. "Um… can I help you with something?"

"I wanted to say hi to the pink mango!"

"Well uhh…"

"I'm never going to be able to remove those images from my brain…" Purple whined. "Someone end this stupid transmission already. We've got to find Red before we land on Irk."

"You're going to Irk?" Dib questioned sounding excited. "Can you show me pictures?"

"No I can't Earth-thingy," Purple replied waving the boy away. He turned to a technician working nearby. "Call me when you get all these people off the monitors. I'm going to find Red," he paused. "And I'm going to hurt him for running off." He decided before floating out of the room.

"Wait!" Dib called. "You have to tell me how to destroy your civilization!" The boy stopped himself and made a face. "Wow… did I just say that out loud?"

* * *

Lard Nar collapsed from his injures. Internal bleeding was a real bummer…

"Em boss?" Shloonktapooxis questioned as he hovered over him. "Are you dying?"

* * *

"Gir! Stop calling people immediately!" Zim demanded busting into the communication room. He was still wearing his Earth disguise, but his clothes and wig had been badly singed from all the lasers he'd set up to keep Gir out.

"Yaaaay!" Gir cheered hopping off the chair. "You're on fire! Did the gnomes play with you too!? I want to play hot potato!" Gir threw a chunk of metal at his master, and Zim dodged behind a different control panel.

"Gir! I mean it! Listen to me!"

"Oh, hi Zim," Prisoner 777 greeted.

"What are you doing on Zim's computer Vortian!?" Zim demanded pointing an accusing finger at the scientist.

"Your robot called me," prisoner 777 replied. "Again…"

"Gir! First it was the Tallests! Then it was some random guy! Then it was the Dib!" Zim shouted. "Must I deactivate you every time I leave the base!?"

"Master is mad at me…?" Gir questioned, and tears welled up in the robot's eyes.

"Yes I'm mad at you Gir," Zim said flattening his antennae. "You cause me nothing but problems!"

"Waaah aaaahhh!!" the SIR unit ran around screaming shrieking and crying.

* * *

Prisoner 777 cringed, Dib held his ears, and Zim gripped his antennae. The technicians in the Massive jerked the controls and sent the ship flying wildly off course. Shloonktapooxis floated with a grin plastered on his face seemingly unaffected by the noise while a half-dead Lard Nar covered his head and curled into a ball.

"Dib!" Gaz shouted from somewhere inside the house. "Turn the volume down on that thing right now or I'll come out there and smash it!"

"I don't know where the volume is!" Dib called as he searched the control panel for the volume switch.

"Well find it or I'll destroy your stupid ship, and I'll destroy you too Dib!"

* * *

"Prisoner 777! What is that terrible racket!?" the burly Irken guard demanded, and the Vortian quickly got between him and the screen.

"It's another experiment gone bad! Don't come any closer or it might eat you or do something else terrible like uh… spit radioactive sludge…?

The guard raised and invisible brow, but he backed off. Sometimes it was better not to question the mind of a crazy scientist…

He turned back to Zim on the screen "You might want to think about fixing that robot Zim. He seems to be malfunctioning badly."

"Silence Vort-thing! Gir is perfectly normal!"

"You mean all Irken robots act like that…?" Dib asked in disbelief.

"No, only the malfunctioning ones do," Lard Nar replied from his place on the ground. "Zim is just an idiot."

* * *

"Why are we hurdling towards a planet…?" Red questioned having just returned to the control room with a big tub of snacks.

"Because we momentarily lost control of the ship sir!" one of the technicians responded.

"Well if you got control of the ship back, mind steering us away from it?"

"The gravity of the planet is pulling us in. Crashing is inevitable."

Red shoved one of the technicians out of his seat and typed in a few codes. The monitor on the control panel showed an overview of the ship's status. It was bad.

"Trained pilots they say, pah," Red scoffed.

"While you're trying not to crash, do mind answering a few of my questions?" Dib asked.

"Yes I mind," Red growled keeping his eyes on the controls. "Haven't you given up yet?"

"I'm sorry my Tallests! Gir got past my amazing security system!" Zim exclaimed. "It won't…" Gir was still throwing a crying fit in the background and something crashed.

"Zim, if you say "it won't happen again" I'll kill you right now!" Red snapped. He didn't really think how he would kill the Irken; he just knew that he would. He would find a way to do it.

"Well there is a hidden 'anti-crash' program," Prisoner 777 said. He beamed. "I installed it myself!"

* * *

"Boss! I think I see something! It's coming towards us!" Shloonktapooxis happily exclaimed. His expression fell when he realized what the something was. "Uh oh…we're going to drown!"

"Oh cripes…" Lard Nar breathed just before they were swallowed up by a wave of goopy yellow-brown water. "Ahhhh!" The transmission ended.

* * *

"You've been out here for hours," Gaz remarked standing in the doorway of the garage.

"Gaz look! Isn't this amazing? I can use Tak's ship to send transmissions into outer space! To outer space Gaz!" Dib told her smiling. His smile faltered when Gaz folded her arms and opened her eyes to glare at him. "Come on, this is an amazing discovery!"

"Hmf… whatever," Gaz said going back into the house.

* * *

"Waaaaah!" Gir continued to cry, and the chicken he swallowed flew out of his mouth.

"Zim! Do me a favor and end the transmission right now!" Red shouted. Since the technicians were all focused on trying not to crash, they didn't have time to end the broadcast.

"Yes my Tallest!" Zim said pressing the button that cut-off the transmission. He turned to Gir who was still wailing and screeching. "Gir! Stop this horrible shrieking right now! I command you!" Yelling at the robot didn't work. "Silence Gir or I'll dismantle you myself!" Threatening didn't work either. Zim sighed and rubbed his forehead. "If you be quiet I'll buy you another suckmonkey."

The SIR unit stopped crying and grinned. "I want bubblegum!"

"Um ok… I'm just going to you know, end the call and try to forget this happened," prisoner 777 remarked ending the broadcast.

* * *

The power for Tak's ship ran out which was ok since Dib skipped breakfast and was ready to eat something anyway… he left the garage and headed into the kitchen only to find out that Gaz had drank the last can of soda again.

* * *

Red smiled and stood up straight. He managed to find the anti-crash program, and he initiated it in time for the Massive to avoid hitting the planet. Then he noticed Purple wasn't in the room.

"Where'd Purple go?"

"He left to find you sir," the technician sitting on the floor replied.

"Then he'll be back eventually," Red concluded. "Change our communication link number again… and call that Vortian; prisoner 7 or whatever about making a program that will block certain pests from our call-line."

"Yes sir."

Red sat down in his chair and began eating his big bucket of snacks. Finally… peace and quiet.

The large monitor suddenly flicked on and Gir appeared with a squished butterfly in his hands. "Wanna butterfly!?" he shrieked. "It's pretty blue!"

"ZIM!" Red hollered throwing his snacks to the ground.

"GIR!" Zim shouted from off-screen.

* * *

**Author's Notes: **If there is a third chapter it will be called "Don't Call me Again Ever."

Thank you for reviewing. Now watch as I disappear for another six months! (hopefully not, but it does happen.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's notes:** This is the last chapter I promised, and it is long and probably a bit more confusing than the last two chapters because more things are happening and I got kind of lazy with the line breaks.. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. You've all been great.

* * *

**Don't Call me Again Ever**

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Gir giggled and dumped the rest of his popcorn in his mouth. It took him a few seconds for him to recognize it was gone from his bowl, and a few minutes of searching the cushions to realize there was none in the living room either. He tried the kitchen but there was just no popcorn anywhere!

That's when it became an emergency situation.

"Masterrr!" he shouted down the toilet. "Master! The popcorn is gone! I ate it aall!" His master didn't respond because he wasn't there. Zim wasn't at home, and Gir had been forbidden to leave the house after he mistook the neighbour's cat for a squirrel and ate it, disturbing a group of bystanders who then called the pound.

Gir had spent a couple of days scaring the dogs in the pound before Zim came to get him out.

Of course Gir didn't remember he wasn't supposed to leave the house. He'd tried to leave earlier to get some ketchup to put on his popcorn, but the gnomes outside had shot him back into the living room through the window. I'd been a lot of fun, and it only took him a couple more tries before the lasers affected his circuits and he miraculously remembered what Zim had said about not going anywhere.

"Hmm…" he tapped just under his mouth, like tapping his chin, and stood staring at the toilet. He could always order ketchup and popcorn from the telephone! Feeling pleased that he had thought up a solution, Gir bounced happily over to the phone and dialled the first number he could remember. The pizza man.

"Uhh… hello?" the young man on the other end of the line said. "This is Bloaty's. How can I uh… help you?

"I neeeeeed ketchup and popcorn!" Gir squealed.

"Uhh…" the person on the other end of the phone took a moment to clear his head. "Well um… we don't uh… serve that here."

"Ok bye!" Gir exclaimed hanging up before trying the next number.

They didn't sell it either!

There was only one other solution Gir could think of after he finished dialing every number he could remember and half the numbers in the local address book. He had to call outer space!

**Don't do it…**

The computer warned Gir as he eyed the garbage can.

**I mean it.** The house's computer heaved a sigh. **Oh whatever.**

Zim had left some traps in place, and Gir triggered every one of them on the way down so he was smouldering and giggling in glee by the time he rolled into the communication's room.

There were a lot of blocks in place this time, but Gir was able to get past them all because Zim's password was 'ZIM.' He typed in a familiar number and waited for the person to answer. They didn't. He tried another number. No answer. He called back the most recent number and the screen flashed.

"This is Sizzlor, how can I help you?" the large Irken wearing a chef's uniform questioned not bothering to look at the screen.

"Hiii!" Gir greeted the stranger cheerfully. "I'd like some poptarts with lemonade and a fried hamster on a stick, no lettuce, and a biiig bowl of toquitos!" The SIR couldn't remember what he wanted anymore. "Ohh and some eggs on a spoon!"

"What the…?" Sizzlor turned his gaze to the screen as he continued frying something. "We don't have anything like that here. And why is a SIR ordering?" He narrowed his eyes. "Where are you calling from?"

"I'm on earth!" Gir remarked smiling stupidly. "Next to the man in the sky! His name's Ralph! We got a moon made 'a cheese!" The Sir's blue eyes narrowed and he whispered in a creepy voice. "The stars are his friends."

"You're Zim's crazy robot!" Sizzlor stated looking mildly surprised. He wondered briefly if calling to harass Zim had been a good idea. "Do you even know what we have on the menu?"

"No idea!" Gir exclaimed. "I like ketchup! Do you have the candy cane's number?" he suddenly asked. "Maybe they have ketchup and poptarts for me!"

"What…?"

"I want to call the tall guys so they can gimme me some ketchup!" Gir explained. "They're the kings of candy-land! They must have iiit!"

Now normally a good loyal Irken wouldn't give away his leaders' new number to a dysfunctional SIR unit, but Sizzlor had to think about not only his sanity but the sanity of his customers. It was no secret that Zim's robot had been harassing the Tallests lately. Besides, his leaders still owed him money.

"Alright, but you can't tell them I gave it to you understand?" Sizzlor said hitting a button that brought the Massive's number up on the screen.

"Thank you iron chef! Your hat is pretty!" Gir said before the connection ended. He typed in the Tallest's new number and began jumping up in down on the chair.

* * *

"Incoming transmission from…" the technician in charge of communications nearly swallowed his tongue when 'Earth' popped up on his screen. He looked at the guy sitting on his left for help, but the other Irken held up his hands defensively and shook his head. The technician on his right wasn't any help either. "Earth," he finished bringing his antennae down as he waited for his leader's reaction.

"Get rid of it! Destroy all the monitors!" Red snapped rising from his chair. "Purple, come help me with…" he eyed the empty seat beside his and muttered under his breath. "Oh right… he's still missing." His angry red orbs turned to the technician in charge of communications. "You set up all the barriers didn't you?"

"Yes sir!"

"Then why is that thing on the monitor!" he pointed a finger at the largest screen in the room which now had Gir's smiling face plastered to it.

"Hi Mandy!" Gir called waving before he pried his face off the screen. "I missed youu!"

"What do you want!" Red questioned exasperated. "Can't you just leave me in peace!"

Gir got distracted during Red's mental breakdown. He pulled a felt out of the storage space in his head and began drawing pretty pictures on the monitor.

"Hee hee, you gotta butterfly on you're head!"

"Do a full system shut down!" the Tallest demanded.

"But sir… it will take us hours to get the Massive running again," one of the technicians tried to protest. "We will be drifting through space defenceless…"

"What's your name?"

"I-Its Leb my Tallest…"

"I'm going to have you demoted to a table headed service drone. Right Purple?" He glanced at the empty chair again.

There was an awkward pause. "Darn it! He's been missing for three days! Where could he have gone!"

"He got eaten by a whale!" Gir happily chimed. "You gotta tell Pickle! He'll be so happy for you!" And so he called Lard Nar.

"ShutitdownorI'llkillyou…" Red insisted reaching to strangle the nearest technician who gasped and immediately began playing with his controls even though his section had nothing to do with the power supply or the communication system.

* * *

"Where am I going?" Purple muttered as he trudged through the disgusting sludge. He had accidentally hit the button for one of the emergency exits when the Massive lost control, and this sent him flying into outer space. From there the gravity of the planet dragged him in.

It was embarrassing! He would have died if he hadn't landed in the sewage plant. Now he was lost in an underground maze of alien waste that stank worse than dead Slorgbits. He'd also been flushed through a small pipe. He'd gotten stuck, but the second flush pushed him through along with all sorts of other things he didn't want to think about.

Not to mention the brown-green goop he was walking in kept rising and falling precariously.

The further he walked, the darker his surroundings became. Then suddenly he heard a beep and saw a flash. He rushed towards the flashing light, but he didn't try to touch it. His antennae fell as he stared at where the light was coming from. Somewhere deep under the swirling goop, a communicator was beeping.

There was only one problem with that. Irkens don't like gross things, and the device was buried in grossness. He stared at the place for a while. His hands trembled and he clenched them into fists. "Ok… this is life or death remember…? Who cares what kind of disgusting creature's feces it's currently covered in? This might be my only chance to contact the outside world!" From a sewer he realized. Both Red and the crew were going to have a good laugh.

"Why me…?" he grumbled summoning his courage to answer it.

And then the worse possible person-thing was on the other line…

* * *

"Eee!" Gir exclaimed. "Who are you!"

"Eh...? Ah!" Purple nearly dropped the communicator. "You! Why are you calling this!" Maybe the stupid SIR unit had a list of all the numbers in the universe somewhere… that was a frightening thought.

"Uh oh! I got the wrong number!" Gir moved to end the transmission, but Purple wasn't finished having his say. "Better go before I get spied on! The scary lady says so!"

"You horrible robot! You better not end this call! You're the one who got me thrown down here! Uh… probably! I know this is somehow your fault!" He shook the communication device pretending it was the SIR's head. How he wanted to crush him…

"Purple is that you?" Red asked from the screen. He couldn't see the other Tallest, but Purple was shouting loud enough to be heard on the Massive's line.

"Errr…."

"Where are you? No one has seen you around here for days!"

"Uh well…"

"Come on Purple, hurry up and tell me what happened!"

"You see…"

"Aw! You know each other! I'll let you say hi!" Gir cheered connecting the calls together before sitting back and watching like it was a good sitcom. "They're gunna dance like a monkey!"

* * *

"What the…" Red stared at the bit of background he could see on his monitor which was completely shrouded in darkness. "Don't tell me you're still hiding somewhere…"

"Of course not!" Purple snapped. "This is the last place I want to be!"

"Where is that?"

"He's gone on vacation!" Gir squealed.

"What…?" Red raised an invisible brow.

"I don't know! I have no idea. All I know is when the Massive started going out of control I lost my balance and ended up getting pulled into space!" Purple remarked.

Red's antennae fell back. He looked thoughtful for a moment, but the information was just too much for him and he burst out laughing. "You fell off the Massive! You FELL off! How is that even possible! Ha ha ha!"

"Shut up Red…" Purple muttered looking dejected. "You're such a jerk."

"What the heck is going on over here…?" a voice grumbled in the darkness. The gross sound of someone walking through the sewer sludge was getting louder. Purple's antennae rose slightly as he listened. His ocular implants allowed him to see relatively well in the dark, so the moment the stranger rounded the corner he would be able to tell what it was and take the necessary steps…

Right now he was thinking he would run away no matter what the sewer beast looked like. His grip tightened on the communicator and he slowly began edging backwards away from the voice.

"Ok… ok I'm done," Red said cracking a grin to keep himself from laughing. This didn't work and he doubled over laughing loudly.

"Red shut up, I think there's something down here…" Purple whispered.

"BWAHH HAHH!"

Purple wisely decided to mute the communication device after his co-Tallest's outburst.

He watched as the thing came around the corner and let out a sigh. It was just a Vortian wearing goggles and a strange uniform. The Vort race was short and relatively harmless without their technology.

"You!" it gasped freezing in place. "What are you doing down here!"

"I thought Vortians couldn't see well in the dark," Purple said hoping to avoid the topic of how he ended up in the sewers.

CRASH BANG CLANG

Purple winced with each loud noise. The crazy SIR on the other line didn't seem to have been affected by the muting and was currently getting into something he shouldn't. There was also some disco music playing. Gir apparently was impossible to mute.

"We can't," Lard Nar grumbled. "But I've been down here long enough to adjust."

"If you've been down here for so long you should know a way out."

"If I knew a way out I wouldn't be down here right now would I!"

"Fine, whatever." Vortians and their logic. "Since you're useless I'll just have to find my own way out of here."

"Most of this planet is sewers," the Vortian smirked a bit. "How do you plan to do that exactly?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Ha!" Lard Nar pointed a finger at him. "You have no idea!"

Purple's antennae flattened irritably. He forgot how annoying Vortians were. That's why he and Red decided to break their alliance with Vort and eventually conquer the planet… or something. There were probably more political and economical reasons for doing this, but Purple didn't really care.

"Well you obviously don't know what you're doing since you're still lost down here," Purple countered.

Lard Nar let his arm fall to his side as he balled his hands into fists. "I wouldn't be down here if you hadn't shot down my ship!"

"We wouldn't have shot down your ship if you were on your planet doing whatever it is you're supposed to be doing!"

"I would have been on my planet if you hadn't conquered it and enslaved my people!"

Gir squealed in delight. "Look Pig! They're so happy being married together!" he remarked holding his friend Pig up so he could see. "I'll give em mah cheese as a present!"

Both Lard Nar and Purple paused; each of them wondering what the heck the strange Earth term 'married' meant.

The purple Tallest was the first to realize it didn't matter, and he began walking away from the Vortian. It was much easier for him to move through the sludge because of his height. There was even a ladder up ahead. Goodie.

"Where are you going?" Lard Nar asked watching as the Tallest started to leave.

"I'm getting away from you," he replied.

"Real mature…"

"I heard that."

"Good! Hear this too you stupid Irken, there are sewer monsters and unpredictable tides down here! How do you expect to make it out of here when you're so spoiled? You probably don't know anything about the world outside Irk or the Massive. "

Purple rolled his eyes. "Well," he said looking down at the Vortian from the latter he had started to climb. "I thought going up would be a good start."

Lard Nar dug his fingers into his palm and ground his teeth. The Tallest was infuriating!

"Besides, you're small, so I figure the sewer beast will probably go after you first."

"I named him Sam!" Gir remarked butting into the conversation. "He's got three eyes! He's gunna eat you like a sammich!"

Purple checked the communicator once he climbed up the ladder. On one half of the screen Gir was happily serving tea to his friend Pig while on the other half of the screen Red appeared to have calmed down somewhat.

He hesitated briefly before un-muting Red. His co-Tallest covered his mouth chuckling a bit, but he managed to regain some of his control. "So uh… Purple… need some help getting back? Pfft."

"They won't be able to pinpoint this location," Lard Nar informed Purple. He had decided to follow the Tallest for the lack of a better plan… besides what the Irken had said earlier was probably true. The sewer creature would no doubt attack him first because he wouldn't be able to put up much of a fight, but if he stayed with Purple he would have a better chance of making it out alive. "Being underground screws up the signals."

Purple eyed him warily. "Now you decide to act helpful?"

"Sorry," Lard Nar responded sounding insincere. "I have a natural repulsion to the Irken species since you and your idiot partner started operation doom."

"That means he's allergic!" Gir translated before irrupting into a fit of giggles. "He's allergic! Eee!"

"Doom one or doom two?" Purple questioned lowering his antennae. The dysfunctional SIR was going to make him deaf. He really hoped he wasn't going to die, lost, deaf, and irritated beyond reason with bad company on a foreign planet surrounded by ick where his followers wouldn't even set foot to collect his bones once he was gone.

That thought was very depressing and he almost forgot he was having a conversation with bad company number two.

"There was a first one?" Lard Nar asked sounding puzzled.

"Oh right… never mind." It was better not to mention that one since it ended so badly.

"If the SIR unit can get passed all of our security, he might know a way of getting around the signal problem," Red commented offhandedly. He had no idea what his partner was going through at all, and it was obvious to anyone , especially Purple, that he didn't really care to.

"Of course, it's also incredibly stupid."

"I wanna give you a big hug purple-man!" Gir cheered as he slammed into the screen. "I'M A FISH!"

Purple squinted an eye. "I think I'll have a better chance wandering around here than I would talking to that thing…"

"I have never seen something that defective before," Lard Nar admitted looking a bit sceptical. "But I guess if Zim made it…"

"Ah… heh right Zim… made it," Red and Purple both mumbled.

"Why do you two look so guilty?" Lard Nar demanded. The answer came to him a moment later and he smacked himself in the forehead. "I hope you've learned your lesson! This is what happens when you tamper with technology! This and that horrible Megadoomer that becomes invisible when the pilot remains in plain sight… you fools!"

"Gir! Where are you! Gir!" Zim's voice echoed from above the labs.

Red began packing for another trip to the dark secluded room where there were no screens and monitors. "As much as I'd like to help you Purple… there is only so much I can take. I'm at my limit."

"And you think I'm having a good time here?" Purple snapped. "You better not leave me here Red. I mean it!"

"Leb, you're in charge while I'm gone. Do not let the Massive go off course this time!"

"Y-yes my Tallest…" the poor technician stammered.

"Master's home! I'm gonna call master's bestest friend!" he began pounding the control panel furiously. "I'm calling I'm calling! Eee!"

* * *

Beep beep beep.

Dib sighed wearily as he removed the last of the leeches from him. Zim's most recent plan had been to genetically mutate the leeches so that they were always hungry for human blood. They were never full!

Beep beep beep

His computer was beeping. Slowly he dragged himself over to the keyboard and hit enter. Gir popped up grinning happily. "Hiiiii! Were you playing in the puddles!"

"Zim's crazy robot…?" Dib mumbled somewhat dazed. He was light headed from losing so much blood, and he collapsed on his chair. Was his computer even capable of this he wondered?

"Oh no! Big head is dying! Master will be so sad! I give you jellybeans!" Gir tried to shove some of the candy into a few different slots; this resulted in a minor explosion.

"Gir! Are you down in the labs again!" Zim shouted. "You horrible minion! What do I keep telling you about the labs and… not being there!"

"I don't know!" Gir replied as his master exited the elevator and marched over to the computer screen.

"Why must you do this!" he shrieked when he realized his stupid robot had once again called the Tallests. "My Tallest!"

Purple's antennae fell. "Don't say anything Zim…"

"But!"

"Zim I mean it!"

"Yes my Tallest! I am very sorry about…"

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SPEAKING!" Purple roared, and Zim very nearly lost his hearing.

Dib groaned and held his head. Even though he was exhausted and had a bad headache, he couldn't pass up this opportunity to speak to real live aliens. "You…" he fell onto the floor and promptly fell asleep.

"Did anyone else hear something?" Lard Nar questioned.

"No, I didn't," Purple replied rubbing his temples. "Let's keep going. Zim and his robot are useless," "Whaaat?" Zim questioned rubbing one of his antennae in an attempt to get his hearing back. "And it looks like Red went and locked himself in the closet again," Purple continued breathing a sigh.

He would have to get out of the situation on his own.

Gir landed on top of Zim and they crashed to the floor. "Get off of me Gir!"

Lard Nar chanced a look over his shoulder when he heard something like rushing water. He paled. "Uh… Irken-scum… we might have a problem…"

Purple turned just in time to see a wave of disgusting goop falling over them. They didn't even have time to scream, not that either of them wanted too because of the risk of swallowing something extremely unpleasant, before being whisked away through the sewer.

"My Tallest…?" Zim questioned, blinking as the signal suddenly cut-out. He shoved Gir off of him, wondering briefly if his leader had met an unfortunate end.

"Don't worry master, I'll call 'em back!" Gir announced leaping onto the control panel, and doing a dance resembling the tango. "Don't be dead! The mangos will cry! Don't make 'em cry!"

* * *

Mean while, the technicians sat in an awkward silence.

"Do you think we should inform the Tallest that our other Tallest could be dead?" one of them asked.

No one answered.

* * *

Dib drooled in his sleep.

"Get down here Dib!" Gaz shouted from downstairs. "Dad wants us to have dinner, and I can't eat until you punch in the code!"

He muttered something unintelligible, rolled over, and snored.

* * *

The signal from Zim's base reconnected to the communicator in the sewer. Purple was lying on his back gasping for air. He was covered in things he didn't even want to imagine, and he had to un-stick himself from the sludge he was currently stuck in.

Lard Nar was in a similar predicament, only he hadn't been fortunate enough to land face up like the Tallest had. He pried himself from the goop and took a much needed breath.

"Ughh… I'll never get the taste out of my mouth…" Purple complained as he slowly crawled to his feet. He noticed the communicator lying nearby and picked it up.

"You think you have it bad…" Lard Nar grumbled, wiping his goggles.

"Hey, Vort-thing, do you see that?"

"See what…?" he glanced away from his goggles, and his mouth fell open. There was a light! "Oh good Vort… we're dead."

"Do you really think death would taste this bad?" Purple questioned as he began walking towards the light. "I bet that's the way out."

"Or we're dead," Lard Nar remarked climbing to his feet.

"Well I'm not spending the rest of my afterlife haunting a sewer."

"Good point."

They both headed towards the light with a new found vigor. Purple breathed in, and was relieved to feel the cool air on his face. He would have much rather tasted this, but because he had swallowed something terrible during the wave-ride that overpowered any new taste, he couldn't.

"Fresh air!" he exclaimed happily.

"Yaaay!" came an annoying screech that nearly shattered his antennae and made his legs give out. The communication device was stuck to his pak, held there by a substance no one should ever have to touch, "You won pizza man!" Gir began tearing up. "I'm so proud!"

"What happened to Zim?" Purple asked suspiciously.

"Oh! Master got bored and decided to go play with big-head again!"

* * *

"What!" Dib exclaimed sitting up on the floor somehow fully awake. "Zim is coming! I have to prepare myself!"

He ran downstairs intent on breaking into his father's labs and borrowing some high-tech equipment.

"You're late…" his sister growled.

"Oh uh… right. But I don't have time for dinner now!" Orange flames could be seen from the doorway and nothing else.

* * *

Lard Nar sighed. "I wish my crew was still alive…" he mumbled to himself. Far off in the distance was a hotel with flashy advertising. Maybe if he was lucky he could catch a ride with some alien on vacation back to Foodcourtia.

His eyes narrowed when he saw someone who looked an awful lot like Spleenk leaving the hotel.

Purple shielded his eyes against the light of the two suns and looked in the direction Lard Nar was staring.

"Oh good. I'm going to call the Massive and have them pick me up from there." He punched in the Massive's number on the communication device, and one of the technicians answered.

"Trace this signal and come get me!" Purple exclaimed in exasperation. The faster he got away from the planet the better in his opinion.

* * *

"Oh yeaah! I remember!" Gir squealed hopping up and down in excitement. "I can get ketchup from the lady at the grocery place! Bye byyee!" he waved at the screen before rushing out through the elevator.

Minimoose who had been floating around unnoticed until now drifted over to the monitor and squeaked.

* * *

"It's never going to stop calling us…" Purple realized in horror. "It doesn't even need a reason… it just does it!"

"Spleenk!" Lard Nar shouted ignoring the Tallest. "What have you been doing! How are you alive!"

The six armed alien looked surprised. "Boss? You made it out?" he called. "All of us have been waiting at the hotel now for weeks! We kind of thought you might have died."

"I thought you were dead!" Lard Nar retorted. "Why are you still alive?"

"That monster from before was actually really nice. It showed us the way out. Uh…" he scratched his head when he noticed the Vortian's irritated expression. "Sorry boss…"

"Wait a minute… my crew is alive and they're on the planet…" he looked at Purple with a strange glint in his eyes. The Tallest stared at him for a moment, confused, until it dawned on him that what Lard Nar said was a threat.

"Come get me now!" he shouted into the communicator.

"Not until that crazy Sir is gone," Red commented from somewhere off screen. His voice was muffled and he sounded far off.

"It's gone already!'

"Oh…" Red reappeared a short time later and sat down in his chair. "Why didn't you say so?"

"Just come pick me up before.."

The signal disconnected.

* * *

Minimoose squeaked again. Then it floated over to the control panel and switched off the monitor by landing on one of the keys.

Then everything was finally quiet.

* * *

**Author's Notes/ Teaser:** Purple is captured by the Resisty and this actually provokes Red to respond for once, Gir is well… Gir, Tak makes an appearance, and Zim has an accident in his labs that causes something terrible. Dib's father gets involved in the intergalactic conversation while Dib is locked in the broom closet.

At least that's what I would write about if I decided to continue with this storyline. x)

And it would be called something stupid like "Don't Call me Again Ever Again" or something. Right now I'm trying to rewrite all of the other fanfics that got deleted, so this one, if continued, would be at the bottom of the list. So let me know if it's worth continuing or not, because I already said this was the last chapter and if this goes on it will get even more ridiculous.

Now I will probably disappear from Invader Zim fan-writing because all my fics got deleted from the hard-drive… and I never made any copies. –huge sigh- I'll be back one day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes: **well I got a few requests to keep writing, so I managed to come up with one more chapter. The more I write the more likely the characters will go OOC. I'm just warning you in advance.

Wow… I started writing this and it turned into something dark and not nice. (Probably because of the other fanfic I'm writing right now) Ok, second shot at keeping it light and fluffy. I also didn't do the page breaks very well, so it'll be a bit confusing.

The last chapter. Here we go.

* * *

**Don't Call me Again Ever Again**

The TV screen was dark. It reflected Gir's glowing blue eyes, but the SIR wasn't watching anything. Suddenly he stood up and jumped off the couch, getting closer and closer to the blank screen until his face was almost touching it.

He stared.

He stared some more.

Then he burst into a fit of giggles and fell over, pointing at the blank screen.

"What are you doing Gir!" Zim shouted from the labs below. His voice came from the garbage can, and the crazy SIR turned to see where his master was. When he didn't see anyone he got up and ran into the kitchen.

"Gir!" Zim shouted again. "This isn't funny! Release me at once!"

"Where are you!" Gir squealed looking all around the room before skipping over to the microwave. He opened the door, expecting maybe to find Zim inside, but instead there was a bowl of unheated soup he'd made the other day and forgot about.

"Don't play games Gir!" Zim yelled. He was probably pulling at his antennae or flailing his arms, but Gir couldn't see. "You locked me down here you stupid robot! I'm stuck in the elevator, and you were supposed to get me out days ago!"

"Ohhh yeaahh…" Gir said shutting the microwave door and turning to the garbage can. "I don't know how!"

"Tell the computer to…"

"Yay! A squirrel!" Gir cheered rushing to the window.

"No Gir! Get back here and listen to Zim!"

"Wait squirrel! I want to climb things too!" Gir exclaimed leaping out the open window and running after the frightened rodent which had bolted up a telephone pole.

"I'm never going to get out of here!" Zim hollered, kicking the elevator door. "Ouch!"

The computer snickered.

Zim's antennae twitched. "Wait… the computer can hear me…?"

"**Of course I can," **the computer replied.

"Then why didn't you say something sooner!" Zim shrieked, and the computer was at least somewhat glad it didn't have ears. "I've been trapped in here for three days! Now release me!"

"**No."**

"No, what do you mean no!"

The computer snickered again. It was having too much fun to let Zim go now.

"Squeak," said Minimoose, looking as threatening as a small floating purple moose could.

The computer sighed. **"Fine…" **Despite Minimoose's nonthreatening appearance, it was created to be an unstoppable weapon, and the computer really didn't want to blow up, again, anytime soon.

As soon as the elevator doors opened Zim, who had been leaning against them, fell out into his lab. He jumped to his feet. "Now where is that terrible minion of mine!" he demanded.

"Squeak," Minimoose answered.

"What!" Zim exclaimed. "He ran out of the house chasing a squirrel without his dog monster disguise!"

"**Weren't you fighting with that large headed boy…?" **the computer asked. It wasn't really interested why Zim had come back before getting himself blown up, or how Gir had locked him in an elevator for three days. It just wanted to say something before Zim ran away with whatever thoughts he had.

"Zim could not find the Dib-thing," the would be invader concluded. "Now help me find and destroy that useless robot of mine…"

"**I think he's next door, digging a hole in the neighbour's yard."**

The Irken stared at the elevator. He needed to use it to reach ground level, so he could yell at his useless minion. Understandably, he was a little apprehensive.

It took him five minutes of grumbling to himself, and reflecting on whether it was worth it or not to possibly get locked in again, before he entered.

Minimoose tagged along.

This time he was able to reach the ground floor without being locked inside.

"Gir! Get back in the house!" Zim shouted out the window.

"Wheee! I'm diggin' a hole!" came the happy reply.

"Squeak…" Minimoose told him in all seriousness.

"Yes, Zim knows…" the Irken said running a hand down his face. "He's getting worse everyday! Soon not even I, Zim, will be able to control him!"

"**I don't think you can control him now,"** the computer remarked wryly.

"Silence!" Zim shouted at the ceiling. "I order the gnomes to get him back inside!"

There was a long pause.** "Can you order the gnomes to do anything..? I thought they were just programed to shoot things..."**

"Just get them to toss Gir in here!" Zim seethed. "And stop questioning Zim!"

One of the gnomes obediently grabbed Gir and tossed him back inside through the open window. Zim quickly moved to close it, trapping the dysfunctional sir unit inside for now.

"Is something wrong master?" Gir asked from his upside-down position.

"Yes, I need to talk to you about your behaviour," Zim told him. "It's…" the Irken paused, fishing for the right word. "Bad."

"Ohhh…."

"I think… I need to…" Zim wobbled, and then suddenly collapsed.

Gir turned to Minimoose who stared blankly at Zim.

"**I guess I should have warned him about that gas leak I noticed a few hours ago…"** the computer mused.

"Master is dead!" Gir shrieked. He began rushing around the house screaming while Minimoose stayed quietly floating over Zim's body.

"**He isn't dead," **the computer informed them, breathing a sigh. **"He's just unconscious. If you just…"**

"I'm going to call for help!" Gir remarked loudly as he headed for the toilet in the kitchen.

"**Open the window he'll be fine…" **the computer finished dully. **"I'm turning myself off…"**

* * *

Gir flushed himself down the toilet and fell into the labs. He hurriedly picked himself up off the floor and ran over to the monitor. He began typing all the numbers he could think of. It was an emergency after all.

Dib's computer received the signal, and his room appeared on Zim's screen, but the boy was no where to be found.

Prisoner 777 stared into the monitor. "Huh?"

Red had given up changing numbers since Gir always discovered the Massive's new numbers anyway. He was seated in his chair with his arms folded over his chest.

Lard Nar was asleep. This was his first restful sleep in almost a month. His crew was somewhere else, probably keeping an eye on the Tallest they had captured not long ago. His communicator blinked on automatically.

Sizzlor hung up right away. This turned out to be the best thing to do since Gir had called so many people he didn't notice when one of them didn't pick up, and he promptly forgot all about it.

Four out of the five unlucky callers appeared in their own small square on the screen.

"What do you want now!" Red questioned in pure irritation. He was trying to track down Purple's location, but he hadn't been having much luck since the Vortian had gotten control over the communicator.

To make matters worse, Invader Tenn had just called moments before to tell him about another disaster. Meekrob would not be ready for conquest any time soon.

"I think my master is dead!" Gir yelled into the communications, causing Red to become partially deaf for the moment.

Lard Nar woke up surprised by the noise, and he nearly fell out of bed, Prisoner 777 turned around in order to watch for the guards he suspected would come barging in demanding to know what the racket was, and Professor Membrane, who happened to be passing by Dib's room, stopped to take a peek at his son's computer.

"My goodness… what kind of people does my crazy son talk to on here?" Professor Membrane questioned dramatically as he took a seat at the desk. Maybe something on this strange online chat would explain why his son was insane.

"I don't care," Red remarked. When he saw the little robot was tearing up he added, "I mean I care… sort of..." Not in the way Gir was probably hoping for though. "I just can't do anything about it."

"Neither can I," Prisoner 777 chimed in. "I'm still in prison remember?"

"I don't even know who you are," Professor Membrane spoke. "Did you say prison?" he suddenly asked. "This is not good! I should have put up those child-blocks after all!"

Now Gir could see everyone, and everyone could see Gir, but no one could see each other because the robot hadn't connected any of the other calls. They could all hear each other however.

"Eee!" Gir squealed pointing at the box that had Membrane's face in it. "A ghost is haunting me!"

"Silly metal boy," Professor Membrane chuckled. "Ghosts don't exist."

"But they're on mah TV!"

"No, I'm quite certain they don't," Membrane continued, undaunted by Gir's interruption. "I am a scientist after all, and as a scientist who studies REAL SCIENCE , I do not believe in crazy things like ghosts or aliens."

"What kind of scientist DOESN'T know there is life on other planets?" Red questioned, flicking his antennae back. "Just what are you?"

"What do you mean? I already told you; I'm a scientist."

"Why are you calling me this time?" Lard Nar asked staring at his communication device. He'd gotten it back after capturing Tallest Purple, but it didn't really matter because he had no one to call. He and his crew were stranded on the sewage planet, and as much as he wanted to capitalize on the advantage they had, he was beginning to think he might have to trade Purple in for a ride off the planet.

This would be very disappointing, but there wasn't much else they could do. Now that the communication device was on, the Armada would be able to track it. He tried turning it off, but the stupid machine wouldn't listen.

"My son is talking to convicts and crazy people…" Membrane lamented.

"Yaay!" Gir cheered. "Like clowns and weasels!"

"Hey, I didn't do anything bad," Prisoner 777 protested.

"A psychopath non-the-less…" Professor Membrane muttered, shaking his head.

"What?"

"The first step to recovery is admitting that whatever you did was wrong!"

"But I didn't…"

Professor Membrane sighed. "I guess you are a hopeless case."

"Er…" Prisoner 777 blinked in confusion. If the Professor had known anything about intergalactic wars, he might have known that the Vortian was simply in prison because the Irkens had taken over his planet, not because he'd committed murder or anything.

Gir giggled happily. This was turning into something like Law and Order.

"Ooook…" Red's antennae flattened against his head. He was tired of listening to this. "Well if that's everything, I think I'll just hang up now." He gestured for the technician in charge of the transmissions to cut out.

The technician tried. When he failed he tried again. Now he was getting nervous. He sweated and tried several more times before turning to his Tallest. "Umm…"

"You can't!" Gir laughed falling backwards to laugh some more.

"What! Why not?" Red demanded.

Lard Nar was also hoping to find out the answer to this question. It wouldn't be long before the red Tallest noticed he could trace the signal to his communicator. The last thing he wanted was a confrontation with the Armada without having a proper plan in place.

And by proper he meant a plan not made up by Spleenk.

"'Cause you can't!" Gir answered. Obviously the dysfunctional SIR had done something to mess with the transmission.

"Tell me what you did right now or I'll!" Red paused when he realized there wasn't much he could do at the moment, considering he was still looking for Purple, and the Massive was a few thousand light-years away from Earth. "I'll do something terrible to you eventually." He finished lamely.

Gir squealed as happy as a SIR could be.

As Zim had realized a while ago, threats never worked on Gir.

Then the base's alarm started ringing.

Meanwhile... not connected to any calls, just hopelessly trapped.

"Oh come on Gaz..." Dib said, banging on the closet door. His sister had locked him inside after she realized he'd eaten the last of her favourite cereal."I didn't know it was the last box of cereal! I can get you another one! Gaaz! The fate of the world Gaz!"

Lard Nar realized his communicator could in fact be tossed out the window, so he did that, and rolled over to go back to sleep. He could deal with whatever happened later.

Right now, all he wanted was a bit more rest.

He had just closed his eyes when he heard something like strange techno-music playing.

He pulled his goggles on and hopped out of bed. He was wearing different clothes because his old ones had been shredded by the sewer beast. Lard Nar still wasn't convinced that thing was actually 'nice,' but even if his clothes hadn't been torn up he would have tossed them simply because the smell would never come out.

The Vortian rushed downstairs and stopped on the last step, staring at a full-blown party that was taking place. All of his crew, and some of the sewer workers, were dancing to music, eating junk food, and playing a game like twister, only a bit more elaborate because there were at least a dozen playing.

He was mortified. They were supposed to be watching the Tallest!

"Spleenk!" he shouted over the noise.

His former navigator looked up startled, and he lost his balance, ending the game of twister for everyone when he fell and managed to trip up the alien beside him. It was like a domino effect that ended when the last guy toppled over.

"Just what do you think you're doing!"

"Uh..." Spleenk decided to remain where he was on the floor. "Having a party?"

"And the Tallest!"

"Oh, he's right over there," Spleenk pointed near the open door. Purple was standing next to the buffet that was there, eating all sorts of junk food.

"Hey Tallest man, think you can beat me in a game of darts?" One of the short grubby sewage workers asked.

Purple stared down at him for a moment, swallowed his mouthful of chips, then smirked. "Think you can see over your hat gramps?"

"Oh, so you accept my challenge?"

"Regular or blindfolded?"

"Blindfolded of course!"

"The chances of accidentally inflicting pain on someone are awfully high."

"Yeah, someone could even die."

"Sounds kind of fun. I'm in."

Lard Nar stared, gaping. The door was wide open, and the Tallest was untied, but he wasn't trying to escape at all.

Purple noticed the leader of the Resisty as he followed the sewage worker over to the targets that had been set up on the other side of the room. "Finally decided to wake up?"

"What are you doing untied?"

"One of your guys let me go when I said I wouldn't try to escape."

Lard Nar frowned.

Purple chuckled. "Look, don't worry about it so much. This is a sewage planet remember? I've already been lost out there once, I'm not going to risk running off to do that again anytime soon, if you know what I mean."

"Well... I guess..."

"Besides, this place has good food... which is really weird and I'm kind of scared to ask how they got it, but have you ever heard of an Irken running AWAY from good food?"

"No, I guess not."

"Cool, now stop being a downer and come play darts!" Purple smiled holding out one of the sharp implements the strange old worker had given him.

Well... this wasn't what he'd been expecting at all. "I think I'll pass..."

"Boss!" Shloonktapooxis cheered racing in through the door. For whatever reason, he had been outside and had managed to find the communicator Lard Nar hoped would have remained lost for a while.

That wasn't going to happen apparently. He sighed as he accepted it back.

"Eee! They're having a party!" Gir squealed bouncing up and down.

"Oh cool, I haven't been able to attend one of those in a while," Prisoner 777 remarked.

"And you never will again if you don't change your ways!" Professor Membrane insisted.

"They're what?" Red questioned irritably. Those annoying aliens were going to pay for kidnapping his partner and gloating like that. The Massive had locked on to the Vortian's communication signal. It was only a matter of time before the armada arrived and destroyed the place.

"Yeah, Red, Actually, if you could take the longer route to pick me up, that would be fine," Purple said as he took the communicator from the floating purple alien thing.

Red's eyes narrowed slightly. What the heck? He shrugged his shoulders. "Well... whatever... if you aren't in any real trouble I might not bother picking you up at all."

"Ookk..." Purple replied grinning. "Buut you'll be missing out on donuuts!"

"You're lying. You're on a sewer planet."

"Ok, I'm lying," Purple agreed snickering.

"You are lying aren't you Purple...?" Red asked in suspicion.

"Uh huuuh..." Purple replied, not sounding the least bit convincing.

"Come on man, darts!" the sewage worker shouted. "If you beat me you can face-off against our champ; blind guy Loggan. He got both of his eyes removed when he fell into the sewage container and nearly drowned in toxic sludge."

"Oh wow, this planet is like a pit of death isn't it?" Purple questioned.

"Yeah, we lost a few workers this year.." the worker coughed. "Twenty seven."

"Hey Red, if the Earth doesn't kill Zim, we can send him here."

"Zim?" Professor Membrane questioned. "Now why does that name sound so familiar..."

"Actually, the robot says he's already dead," Red commented offhandedly.

"The window killed him!" Gir sobbed.

The very of even a pretend Irken Invader dying from slamming into a window or getting caught up in one caused Purple to burst into laughter. "A window!" Purple gasped. "Killed by a window!"

Then Gir started laughing because Purple was laughing.

"Who was killed by a window?" Lard Nar asked, frowning. Was that even possible?

"Zim," Red replied flatly.

Beep beep beep!

"I got a call!" Gir squealed in between laughing and rolling around on the floor. He got up and answered the call, adding a fifth box to the screen.

"I finally got your number Zim!" Tak said. She was covered in ash, and one of her antennae was bent awkwardly. "Don't think this is over just because you..." Then she realized she was talking to the dysfunctional SIR unit rather than Zim. She stopped talking and stared for a moment. "Where is he?" she seethed.

"He got killed by a window!" Gir grinned happily.

"He did what?"

"Well... I wouldn't really trust what that robot says..." Prisoner 777 remarked. "It doesn't look like it was wired properly."

"Who is that?" Tak questioned scowling.

"I'm..."

"He's a prisoner on Vort," Red answered for him. "No one important."

"I have a name," Prisoner 777 stated unhappily.

"You can have a name when you mend your ways!" Professor Membrane insisted.

"Oh for the love of Vort, I am not a criminal!"

"You are going to spend the rest of your life in prison if you don't change that attitude," Professor Membrane warned him, wagging his finger in a scolding manner, despite knowing the 'criminal' couldn't see him. The condescending tone in his voice was enough to get his point across.

Prisoner 777 buried his face in his hands and let out a long sigh just as one of the guards came by to see what was going on.

"My Tallest...?" Tak questioned, ignoring the others who'd spoken.

"Yeah what?" Red questioned.

"You were speaking with Zim?"

"No. His stupid robot called me."

"I got your number now too!" Gir cheered happily, pressing his face against the screen. "Let's go on a picnic!"

Tak recoiled in disgust.

"Well this has been fun," Professor Membrane commented as he stood up from the chair. "But I must return to science! And install some parent blocks on my crazy son's computer." He left the room.

"It won't turn off," Prisoner 777 quickly explained when he saw the guard was about to enter the cell. He raised his hands defensively. This particular guard looked rather annoyed...

"I really don't want this anymore," Lard Nar decided as he handed the communicator to Spleenk who was leading a conga-line.

"Err... hello?" Spleenk said as he looked into the screen, seeing no one.

Gir forgot what he was doing and wandered off somewhere... leaving all of the calls open and none of them connected.

Red, who was feeling very irritated by everything at this point, decided to take out his frustrations by blasting the sewer planet into a smouldering pile of refuse as he rescued Purple from his nearly suicidal darts game.

All of the Resisty members were forced to hide in the sewers to avoid being shot to death... Lard Nar just hoped it wouldn't take him as long as it did the last time to find his way out...

In the mean while he, his crew, and the surviving sewer workers gathered some interesting materials to build a fire with and found some mushrooms that hopefully wouldn't cause horrible hallucinations.

Purple managed to convince Red not to blow up the planet completely.

"They have good food there," he argued.

"You keep saying that, but I don't believe you," Red grumbled. "They're going to come back and annoy us again if we don't blow them up now."

"Then we'll blow them up when they do that."

"... fine." Red wasn't really in the mood for arguing. "Just this once Purple... but the next time they're going to pay."

Zim returned to his lab after regaining consciousness and discovered the house's computer had been switched off, and there were several transmissions currently connected to his monitor. "GIR!" he shouted, and his minion fell from the ceiling.

"Yeees!"

"What is this!" Zim demanded gesturing to the monitor.

In one screen, Tak was glaring at him. Tallest Red and Purple had taped something over their monitor, so the square box that used to be showing them was blacked out, Prisoner 777 was waiting patiently while an Irken guard was examining the computer system, trying to get the device to switch off, one screen was showing Dib's room, and the other screen revealed Lard Nar and his followers had managed to make a fire though the materials they used were rather sketchy...

"You was dead, so I called 'em for help!" Gir replied.

Zim's antennae twitched. "Why would you do that?"

Gir shrugged as he jumped up off the floor. "I dunno!"

It was going to take Zim a while to figure out what exactly his robot minion did while he was lying unconscious on the living room floor.

* * *

More notes: The end! Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry it took so long, I have a short attention span sometimes, and I'm forgetful. It's like "Oh yeah. I should continue writing that ones of these days... or I could play video games." And ah hm.. yes.


End file.
